The Retail Diaries: August 2011

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my farewell post. It's been a great summer, and my retail job has now found its end and I have nothing left to complain about.

Just kidding! Didn't mean to give you a heart attack. You didn't think I'd leave you all Amy ranting-less, did you? How rude that would've been of me, and honestly the list of retail things I can complain about is eternal. However like I dramatically and soap opera-y mentioned above, I am no longer employed! Now usually this is a sad statement but in my case, it's means to celebrate (mostly because I got out of working tax-free weekend!). I'm going back to Austin so I can learn a thing or two from higher education and more importantly, so I can cash in on some Austin vintagey/thrifty shopping.

No pictures today, looks like you'll just have to read. Who says the written word is dead? (or is it typed?)

Key Note: This, metaphorically of course, is the part in the novel where the author shifts his or her point of view. And because my blog is comparable to great literature, I am now shifting my point of view from salesperson to customer. It's about to get wild.

Austin post to follow SOON, I promise. But for now...Farewell, Dallas!

PS. Before I leave you forever, Dallas (or at least, until Thanksgiving) Those of you who are lucky enough to be in town for the grand opening of the first EVER H&M in Texas on August 18th at Northpark Mall, please think of me the whole time you're there (perhaps take a picture of me if it'll help!)

Love,

Amy

All right, so I've just gotten home from a full day of work and class (in case you were wondering class is still gross and we're still not talking about it) and I've decided that we're going to skip the pleasantries today and go straight to ranting. We've got a lot of ground to cover.

As I have slaved away for almost 3 long months of standing on my feet for 8 straight hours and literally being afraid of opening fitting room doors for fear of the mounds of fabric all over the floor, I have realized that the most exhausting part of the job is a mental issue rather than a physical one. Dealing with the various amounts of personalities that come in and out of the mall may just be one of the most challenging aspects of the job. You crazy, customers you!

I have in my delirious state categorized customers into 3 different types and they are as follows:

1) The "If you ask me one more stupid question I'm going throw hangers at you" customer: Let us all take a minute and rewind back to 4th grade math class, do you remember that kid that raised their hand immediately after a lesson and asked a question? Do you remember the 10 gazillion questions that came after that? Do you remember how annoyed you were? Well, low and behold that kid grew up and decided to go shopping.

2) The "I'm sorry I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider and can move at lightening speeds to serve you" customer: Sorry, but I'm not sorry. This customer seems to always be in a hurry and a foul mood. For whatever reason it may be, I did not put on my customer service voice for you! Calm down, take a breath, and enjoy the materialism around you please.

3) The "Omg please be my friend and let me go shopping with you all the time" customer: This customer is unfortunately scarce, but when you do come around, I wholeheartedly appreciate it. You like clothes, you fully appreciate and succumb to my incoherent babbling about cute things I saw and want to make people try on. And when you leave, instead of saying "thank you! have a lovely day!" I really want to say "thank you! please take me with you wherever you're going"

- Take it from me, you want to be in Category 3. I'm going to make stickers or something.

But there's always the light at the end of every tunnel (and by tunnel, I really mean my blog metaphorically....just go with it)

The PICTURES. For those of you who just scrolled past my wonderfully thought-out rant (you know who you are, and you should be ashamed of yourselves), here's to shorts! I love them. I love them when it's hot. I love them when it's cold. I love them high-waisted. I love them with tights. And I especially love them when they're on sale for 10$ at Urban Outfitters! I bought two and I just have to show you.

The Floral: