Third Post: Sales, Sales, Sails

So, I apparently suck at keeping up with a blog. Will you all forgive me? I know you've been long-awaiting my updates because honestly, let's be real here...What's life without my constant ranting? Nothing. I know.

My life recently has consisted of work, finishing up Calculus I (which I made an A in! Yay, but the subject still disgusts me so let the mention of it end here.), and going to New York to visit my friend (excitement rant to follow)

However, I'd like to address retail at its FINEST. It's called a sale. Please don't mistake it for a sail, which though is as equally pleasant with its homonymity and nautical affiliations is just not the same.

A sale, in the retail world, is when a myriad of items are discounted from their original selling price to one that is less. I bet that sounds really great, but then again what do you know? you're a customer. To a sales associate, a sale is what Rachel Zoe would call a cluster fuck and is akin to letting a wild animal go loose on a table of neatly folded shirts that took you all morning to take out of the box and size and color-coordinate. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

At my place of employment, we've been prepping for this sale and started allowing VIP customers (aka ones that like to spend a lot of money on things they want or need or may some day possibly want or need) and it's been causing me to get knots in my back. Knots of tension, knots of aching fingers from holding too many hangers at once, knots of tiny children messing up my neat displays of necklaces and earrings, all sorts of knots and it's NOT okay.

But with my ONE moment of optimism, the light at the end of this deathly tunnel of staying an hour and a half late at work after the store has closed to fix the mess that you crazy consumers made for me, I have found that my trip to New York (financed by retail) made it all worth it.

Here's a sample of why:

- Banner Tank, Built by Wendy

- Scalloped Tank, TopShop

Cari Silk Linen Shorts, Marc by Marc Jacobs

Ps.Just for the record I realize that I am a hypocrite for complaining about consumers and then being a consumer myself, but let's not let the uglies of this reality ruin the happy part of my blog okay?

Pps. I had a photoshoot (aka my cousin's boyfriend's fancy SLR camera and ME in a park) with those Marc by Marc shorts! Get excited. Excuse my lack of ability to upload my own photos.

Still desperate for sympathy,

Amy

Second Post: Mall Slang

Oh hey, back for more? (Unless this is your first time reading my blog, in that case this is embarrassing- feel free to scroll down) Anyway, I'm glad my complaints are amusing to all of you- no sarcasm intended.

I'd like to introduce you to a thing I like to call work delirium. I generally have it every day after work, but for some days it's stronger. It's usually more of a mental strain rather than a physical one, but there are exceptions (like when you try to pretend to be the fancy schmancy fashion people you see in New York/Paris movies running around in 4 inch heels all day, but what you forget is that cinematography is cheating you by not showing you the blisters and callouses these people get-- yeah, I tried it and all I have to say is "Not worth it"). Work delirium, I've discovered, is kind of like taking the SATS three times in a row...while standing. You feel completely wiped out afterwards and are incapable of doing simple things like respond to your name or walk with one foot in front of the other.

It's pretty suck. So much that it really just doesn't deserve grammatical accuracy.

But one thing I'd like to point out is "customer service voice." I have realized and am completely guilty of changing my tone when talking to customers. It's like a mix between your kindergarten teacher and what you sound like when you're calling your puppy to come play with you. I never noticed it when I was myself a customer, but now that I am on the other end...it's just so weird. Do people enjoy being greeted with completely staged phrases?

For example, a normal interaction goes like so...

Salesperson: Hellllllllllllllllo ladies! How are we doing today?! Are you shopping for anything in particular?

Customer: No, just browsing.

Salesperson: All Right then! You just let me know if I can get you anything at all, okay?

It's borderline annoying. I've decided this is my ideal interaction...

Salesperson: Hey, what's up?

Customer: looking for clothes

Salesperson: Cool, spend a lot okay? I'm working on commission here.

At least it's honest, right? Anyway, some pictures to go along with tonight's rant.

- hey place of employment, stop following me.

- highlight of my day: two, not ONE, cookies. Leave me alone.

Written with love and desperate for sympathy,

- Amy

Ps. A piece of advice: If you read the blog as if there are no spaces in between the words and all in ONE breath, then that is exactly how I intended it to sound.

First Post: Character Development

So I like clothes, and I like to think that's the most interesting thing about me but that would make me pretty much 99% of the materialistic world. But I'm also a broke college student-- which is the real problem.

I torture myself reading fashion magazines and blogs and educate myself with the latest trends so I find myself saying "omgdidyouseethenewisabelmarantspring2011collection? I WANT." to random people on the street who think I'm crazy. Well, I am..plus, who am I kidding I live in the suburbs-- finding someone on the street would be impossible.

I decided that I needed to somehow cater to my shopping habit and get a summer job as I take summer calculus classes (ew...gross, let's not talk about it) I found one working retail at a department store. I took this job despite all of my friends and family telling me how much it sucked. I mean the commission, the competition, the folding of clothes, the shoulder-strap-thingies-getting-caught-onto-multiple-hangers, the needy customers, etc. But I decided that I wanted to learn for myself why "Retail Hell The Book" was written. (cue Miss Independent music by Kelly Clarkson)

So I'm here to tell you my journey as I discover new and exciting things! Do I sound like a bad high school graduation speech? My bad. Translation: I'm going to use this blog so I can vent about how I realized why my job is synonymous with hell, but I still have it so I can afford to feed my rampant consumerism.

- Oh and this is me! Just in case you were wondering...

- Amy